📱 Text Messages Narcissists Send—And How to Respond

I remember staring at my phone, heart racing, trying to figure out how one text message could leave me feeling so small.
I kept rereading it.
I felt guilty. Defensive. Confused.
Was it something I said? Was I overreacting?

If you’ve ever felt that way after texting with someone, especially someone close to you—a partner, parent, friend, or even a boss—there’s a good chance you’ve encountered narcissistic communication.

The twist? Narcissists rarely scream. They often manipulate through carefully crafted words that feel like a punch wrapped in silk. And it usually happens in writing—where their tone can’t be heard, and your reality starts to unravel.

Let’s break this down. These are 7 classic narcissistic text messages—plus how to respond without losing your sanity.

---

🔥 1. “I guess I’m just the worst person ever then.”

Translation: I feel criticized, so now I’ll guilt you into silence.

Why it works:

This is emotional blackmail. They turn a simple boundary or request into a dramatic self-victimizing moment. It forces you to comfort them instead of standing your ground.

Your response:

“That’s not what I said. I just need [X] to feel respected in this conversation.”

✅ Stay calm. Don’t defend or chase. Set your tone like a wall, not a sponge.

---

🧊 2. “Wow. Just wow.”

Translation: I don’t like what you said, but I won’t address it directly. I’ll punish you with passive aggression instead.

Why it works:

It creates anxiety and puts you in the position of guessing what you did wrong.

Your response:

“If something I said upset you, feel free to talk about it directly.”

✅ Don’t play detective. Force them into clarity—or let them stew in their own fog.

---

🔄 3. “You’re seriously overreacting.”

Translation: Your feelings are inconvenient, so I’ll invalidate them.

Why it works:

This is classic gaslighting. It makes you question your own emotional reality.

Your response:

“I’m allowed to feel how I feel. We can talk more when there’s mutual respect.”

✅ Never defend your emotions. Reflect the disrespect instead.

---

💣 4. “You’re too sensitive. I was just joking.”

Translation: I’m going to insult you and hide behind humor.

Why it works:

It reframes abuse as banter. Suddenly, you’re “the problem” for taking it personally.

Your response:

“If it hurts me, it’s not a joke. Let’s stick to respectful communication.”

✅ Boundaries don’t require permission. They require clarity.

---

🧥 5. “After everything I’ve done for you…”

Translation: I’m cashing in all past favors to make you feel guilty for setting boundaries.

Why it works:

They weaponize your gratitude and empathy. This is transactional love in disguise.

Your response:

“I appreciate what you’ve done. That doesn’t change what I need right now.”

✅ Gratitude does not equal obedience.

---

🧲 6. “I guess you don’t care about us like I do.”

Translation: You’re not giving me control, so I’ll attack your loyalty.

Why it works:

They equate love with submission. If you don’t bend, they question your commitment.

Your response:

“Caring for someone doesn’t mean ignoring my own needs. Healthy relationships go both ways.”

✅ Keep your power. Love isn’t supposed to feel like emotional debt.

---

🚪 7. No response at all. (a.k.a. The Silent Treatment)

Translation: I want to control you through anxiety and confusion.

Why it works:

Silence is a power play. It makes you chase, apologize, and doubt yourself.

Your response:

Don’t. Respond. At. All.

✅ Don’t reward manipulation. Their silence is their choice—not your responsibility.

---

💬 Final Thoughts: Read Between the Lines

Text messages from narcissists are rarely about communication.
They’re about control, confusion, and dominance.

If you constantly feel:

• Anxious after texting them
• Like you’re always apologizing
• Like the bad guy when you set a boundary
  —then your phone might be their favorite weapon.

You are not crazy. You are not too sensitive. You are not overreacting.
You’re reacting exactly as any healthy person would to manipulation.

---

✅ How to Take Back Your Power

1. Pause before replying.
   You don’t owe anyone an instant emotional reaction.
2. Use “gray rock” techniques.
   Be emotionally flat. Don’t give them drama to feed on.
3. Limit conversations to facts or logistics.
   Especially with narcissistic co-parents or coworkers.
4. Save the messages.
   You might need them for legal or therapeutic reasons.
5. Know when to stop responding.
   Silence is sometimes the most powerful reply.

---

🔐 You Deserve Peace—Not Mind Games

If texting someone feels like walking through a psychological minefield, that’s not love.
That’s not friendship.
That’s control.

You don’t need to argue your worth.
You don’t need to explain your boundaries.
You don’t need to feel bad for protecting your peace.

---

💡 What’s the most manipulative text you’ve ever received?

Share it in the comments—and let’s talk about how to take the power back.